How to Hear What Your Patients Are NOT Saying and Why They DON'T Commit to Care;
Monday, July 12, 2010 at 8:21AM 
Fred DiDomenico, DC
Practice Coach and Mentor
Founder—Elite Coaching
Every doctor has experienced patient telling you what they think you want to hear when they truly have no intention of committing to care. Oh, they tell you they are completely committed as they are planning their exit strategy in their mind. Your problem is you believed their words. Even when you KNOW they are not honestly giving you their commitment. The challenge is you may not know how to handle their objection. Why? Because they are not telling you what their objection is. You must be able to “hear” what they are NOT saying. You must hear the “thought behind the thought.”
The thought behind the thought is what they are thinking when they are telling you something contrary. How do you hear what they are NOT saying? Over 90% of communication is nonverbal. In fact, when influencing patients to accept your recommendations and commit to a spinal corrective program, 7% of the influence you create is related to your words, 38% is related to your tone and 55% is related to your body language. If you believe you are going to talk someone into care, not only will you be less successful, you feel as though you are selling, one the most frustrating interactions with patients. Patients are actually watching the way you move and your tone to decide whether or not they will commit to care. Do you ever feel no matter what you say a patient just doesn’t “get” what you are talking about? This feeling is because they are not listening to your words.
People buy with emotion and justify with fact. It is more important how they “FEEL” about what you say than the facts of what you say. To the contrary, you will know how they feel and “hear” the thought behind their thought by watching their body language and listening to their tone. You may actually “see” the thoughts they are not saying. A patient will tell you what they think you want to hear and their true intention and thoughts are revealed in their body language. One example is when a person is thinking something opposite to what they are saying they will unconsciously shake their head “No.” They are saying their health is their top priority as they shake their head “No.” Their body is essentially telling you they don’t believe what they are saying. Anytime a person’s body language does NOT match their words there is a contradiction between thought and words and a potential objection in their thoughts you have not handled. It is THAT objection, the thought behind the thought, that is the barrier to your recommendations or financial.
Another very simple example is when a patient leans back in their chair or steps back after your last statement. This is a disagreeing posture. Other body language objections are facial expressions, eye movements, changes in breathing patterns and more. If you watch the way patients move to what you are saying, their objection will be revealed in their body, the thought behind the thought. If you are too busy making statements and convincing them to accept your care, selling, rather than watching their response and asking a question when you notice body movement inconsistencies, you will be fighting objections and ultimately accept a non committed patient, one that leaves when their pain is gone. Even worse they have no value for your care and reject your recommendations or financial and leave your office.
To the contrary, if you are not consciously aware of how YOU are moving when you are speaking, you may be making recommendations in your words and denying them with your body. Many doctors have no conscious awareness of how you move when you talk NOT realizing your body is talking them out of your words. When your body language does not match your words you are breaking trust and there is inconsistency in your message. This may be part of the reason some of your patients are not committing. You are talking them into your program with your words and OUT of your program with your body.
The Elite Coaching systems teach you how to accelerate patient’s learning process as well as create maximum influence with words, tone and intentional body language to ensure the highest probability of patient trust, confidence and commitment. Ask about our communication boot camps and seminars to master influence inspiring patients to accept and follow through with your care to create a fulfilling and purpose driven spinal rehab practice.
Dr. Fred DiDomenico, founder of Elite Coaching, the leading and most unique coaching group specific for spinal rehab practices. For and questions regarding boot camps, seminars or coaching please contact Dr. Fred personally at 253-851-8353.
